I have intended for a while to write this eulogy for one of my favourite writers – Dostoyevsky. What is peculiar about my fascination with his works is that I am not fond of Russian literature. However, since I am not a connoisseur of it, I do not want to go to unacceptable lenghts as to say that it is not valuable; as far as I am concerned, it can be actually more interesting and well established than I had ever thought. Regardless of this unfortunate attempt to express some entrenched impressions, I want to return to the main theme of today’s dissertation.
I still remember how I commenced to read Dostoyevsky. It was the winter of 2010 and I fatidically came across “Crime and punishment.” I apprehend now that it was just the begininning of an exhaustive but nonetheless fulfilling task. I have read hitherto almost all of his major works, but I still have to finish “The Idiot” and to proceed to “The Adolescent”.
Despite my initial consternation, I gradually understood that Dostoyevsky was one of those writers who was so adroit that in order to catch a glimpse of his immense knowledge you had to jettison the inveterate conceptions and replace them with a holistic approach towards his work. Notwithstanding the risk of seeming supercilious, I must say that I succeeded in my attempt to comprehend his view points almost perfectly. When you read almost everything that an author had ever written, you feel that between you two a bond , an inextricable bond had been created. I can pertain completely to this theory, due to the fact that now I do not have to waste time trying to ascertain some patterns of thinking in order to find the actual meaning of his words. Whereas at the commencement I had sometimes problems with his sometimes convoluted writing, I find myself now able to supersede the common meanings of the words with the more profound ones. It is not a harbinger of hubris, I must assure you – it is just the not so unexpected consequence of a long process of understanding one of the most intelligent men on Earth. One of the hindrances that prolonged this accomplishment was my quixotic personality which did not accept a single misuse of the word “holistic” regarding the understanding of his books.
Apart from this general thoughts, I want to talk for a while about the actual products of his genius. I cannot say that one of his books is my favourite – each one of them provided me with a different point of view regarding a plethora of theories; each one of them endowed me with a better understanding of the world. Engels once said that he learned more about the society and practical things from Balzac’s novels than from the historians, economists and psychologists of his time. And I guess that this can only reiterate my previous statement, although there may be people who think that they can rebuke my assessements.
Time passes so quickly… I notice now that I have not written anything for so many day. It has been a burdensome, exhaustive week. I could talk about my accomplishments, but the reality is that no one really cares about your successes. What they are looking for is your failure, so that they can consider themselves better. Pathetic human beings! Endeavouring in order to prove meaningless things to others instead of fulfilling their ideals. And the drawbacks displayed by them are immutable. The unfortunate corrolary of this rather perilous attitude towards life, deeply interwoven with an actual disdain for it, leads to the misunderstanding of significant things related to the realm of reality. Whilst I struggle to make myself comprehensible, I cannot bear the fact that I might be sometimes peculiar in my statements, mostly because I tend to contradict myself. It may seem odd to criticize your own person like this, but my propensity for the tendency mentioned beforehand stems from the incessantly developing sense of reality that we had been endowed with. We change our opinions on a constant basis and hardly can we stop doing this, for it is not an inchoate characteristic of the human nature, but it has been there forever. Although I believe in the existentialist conception that Existence precedes Essence, I do not deny that are some idiosyncrasies of the human race that pervade in everyone, since the dawn of history. For instance, when we are children, we always seem to develop feelings for those taking care of us. It might seem as a simple example, but i think that it is enough for understanding the possible source of heated debate. It seems as if I had superseded my initial intention of making a short post . I have to learn to confine myself to expressing my thoughts more concentrated and to avoid excessive use of words.
Politics should be focused on helping people and not on satisfying self interests. There are other positions which can provide someone with money on rather nefarious means. Unfortunately, this is an aspect which seems to be taken less and less seriously into consideration by nowadays’ society. I do not deny the fact that everyone is concerned about becoming wealthy – in fact, even the refutation of this truism would be superfluous – but when you occupy a position which influences a nation’s welfare, you should avoid being self-centred. There is a limit to our egotism and I think that limit is politics. It is no wonder that a well established government and a country’s happiness are deeply interwoven; nonetheless, modern politicians present an attitude of disdain for other human beings, which leads to nothing but their failures. The demise of so many political careers which occurs nowadays and the hatred of citizens regarding those persons are clear harbingers of the prevailing rancour of the latter. Therefore, what can be done in order to achieve a state of tranquility, which seems so futile for the moment? The paucity of means of linking these two seemingly opposed parts is one of the main reasons of the actual situation. Consequently, it might seem logical to try to enhance the communication between them. Throughout the history, there have been many abortive attempts to achieve this – for instance, Louis the XVI’s notebooks of grievances which were originally intended to improve the state of the lower classes, but failed awfully. Even in the United States, during the progressive era, when the Democrats tried to improve the state of the country affected by corruption and big business-policy driven by the former presidents which supported it, there were many attempts of anarchists to destroy the harmony of the country(the eugenistics movement for example which, although it was intended to defend the integrity of the country dealt with condemnable methods of getting rid of those who were not 100 percent americans). So what would be a viable method? My opinion is that people should be given the opportunity to express their grievances directly, so no third part would be involved. This way, those in power would be able to solve their problems and thus defend their positions- it is sure that people will support those who had supported them previously. An effective government should consist of politicians familiar with the problems of citizens, albeit they would be vicarious witnesses of those problems. Perhaps for the moment it is a utopia, but we can hope and wait for that much needed time to come. My goal is to help provide the people with what they need – that is, happiness, freedom and security. The desires of the founding fathers of America shall be fulfilled no matter what hindrances should we encounter. It is my goal, now and forever, to enhance the state of the nation, no matter what I may have against humans – but waiting for Nietzche’s übermenschlich we can only struggle to aid people to be better.
Where do I belong? Where will I find peace? Where can I be myself without feeling repentant for something that was never meant to afflict the others? I obliterated myself in order to repel others’ influence on my personality. I have done hitherto anything so I could be unique, unaffected by the hardships of this world. I wanted to be myself no matter what others thought, for I knew that this is the only way to achieve a now assessed utopian state of happiness. No sooner had I proceeded to these measures that I faced the harbingers of misfortune, for I woke up one day alone with no one able or at least willing to understand me, to comprehend my nefarious choices. For indeed these solutions that I hoped to be thriving had pernicious consequences. I failed to take into consideration certain aspects that would represent issues and thus I realized that I would have to struggle even more if I wanted to be successful. Seldom have I felt less adroit, nonetheless I do not renounce. I should have thought that failures were brewing, for only in the darkest night the light has the most wonderful and noticeable beauty. Sometimes I feel on the edge and I wonder whether it was right to treat the others condescendigly and dissuade them from approaching me. What are these thoughts appearing in my despair? Delirium, you should be deprived of things belonging to the realm of ordinary life! How could I return to the wonder of those nights when I felt that everything was due to bring me success? Indeed, those were nights which cannot be remembered clearly, but what importance can this have now? Only a glimpse of my former achievements would be enough! I am the only one who can help me, so why do I feel that I am devoid of powers? A plethora of misconceptions regarding my person definitely affected my perception of myself, this must be the reason why I feel so bad. I should be audacious, so why do I keep complaining about the cruelty of the unconceivable destiny? I shall stop writing for I lose my ability to utter words, meaningless words, detracted by external influences. How many times did I use the word “influence” ? For the moment it seems that it has been repeatedly used over this short complaint, be this an appropriate term for my delirious piece of writing. It’s been so long since i felt convivial… My former buoyant state cannot be achieved anymore. It’s funny how time slips away and we wake up realizing that we’ve lost everything due to preposterous ambitions. But why should I conceal the truth? My ambitions were indeed stupid, no prevarication is necessary in this matter…
A short video of the last year’s prom. The quality might not be great, but I hope that it is still comprehensible
”The fatal tendency of mankind to leave off thinking about a think when it is no longer doubtful is the cause of half their errors. ” – John Stuart Mill , “On Freedom
People spend little of their time thinking about relevant problems of the life. However, in the rare occasions when they allow themselves to get involved in discussions regarding essential concepts such as freedom, happiness or morality, they tend to waver between seemingly distinct opinions. In other words, they lack their own analytical system which might help them settle arguments. Moreover, an even more nefarious circumstance occurs when one agrees with general opinions without analyzing them carefully in order to testify their veridicity.
I think that, whilst it is necessary to be sure of specific things, there are others which eschew the ability of being fully comprehended. Nonetheless, this does not mean that their apparent deprivation of sense cannot lead to a consensus between people who share common views regarding specific topics. Despite the appeal of those things which are unuterrable, I want to talk about those concepts, because they are generally concepts, which seem to be understood easily.
However, those things are sometimes the most problematic, since they offer us a harmful state of relief, caused by the apparent understanding of them. The pernicious consequence is that we have to deal afterwards with a dearth of will to think better about them, to apply them to practical situations or to try to see another points of view. Here I have to make a digression, because I do not want to ignore the matter of the importance of considering all the constituent parts of a problem as well as its opposing view points. A dismissive attitude towards this displays only a state of complacency, so we should not treat it with disdain.
Since my time is limited, I have to end quickly, without the possibility to discuss better this aspect. However, one important thing which I must mention is that we should not fall into a state of ignorance only because we think that we found the true meaning of a thing. The truth might lay beneath the surface and we have to reconsider sometimes our assumptions. On the other hand, this does not mean that every prosaic aspect of life should be thought about, for we most of the times have to cope with a schedule which does not permit us to be trully free. But this is another issue, which will be treated in the future.
Life is transient, and despite our endeavors we cannot be always auspicious. Our perfunctory state stems from our attempt to forget about this inconvenience. However, my opinion is that, notwithstanding the hardships that we have to endure throughout our lives, we must prove that we are resilient. We must indeed forget about the dearth of time given by the modest length of life, but not in order to display an attitude of lassitude, but to struggle to achieve our goals as soon and completely as possible. Consequently, life should not be influenced by harmful conceptions like the one mentioned beforehand. It should be affect only by positive theories, which are due to make us succeed. For what is after all the meaning of life if not the one we choose? Our path to success or failure is established by us, and in order to reiterate this argument I would like to be more practical. Therefore, think for a moment at the short life of Napoleon. As a young boy, he was considered to lack the skills required for a successful career and was criticized severely by everyone. Had they been indeed astute, they would have realized that he needed only a moment of glory to achieve remarkable results. His career has been thriving and his ambition led him to be feared by his enemies as well as by his people, for the lattest were afraid of his increasing power which gave birth to the misconception that he was the Cromwell of France. A plethora of nefarious circumstances led to his failure, but had he been a little more careful, he would have become indeed ruler over the whole Europe. Therefore, he choosed his path and I think that he should be a model for everyone who is unheralded for the moment. Underappreciation might be hard, I would be too callous to state the contrary, but it is necessary sometimes. Now it is the time you took your “Destiny” in your own hands and proceeded to obtain any success you desire.For only those things that you deserve will be procured.